Therapeutic story telling

by sondercounsellingservices

Every person has a story

"What Is Your Story?"

Stories are used constantly to inform, connect with others, share our feelings, experiences, and even sort through our thoughts and feelings. They are used to find meaning and purpose, establish a sense of identity in the confusing and sometimes threatening world. The interpretation of the story provided will likely be different depending on who is asking, your mood at the time, and whether you feel like you are at the beginning, in the middle, or at the end of your most salient moments.

Storytelling is a shared experience with others. Stories have the ability to either unite or divide. Subject matter varies. It can be free flowing or a brief story spoken during a break in a meeting, around a camp fire, kitchen table, in a car or a cafe. The scenarios are endless and varied. These stories may have signifcant themes that can be intergenerational or life experiences; stories significant in terms of moments in time, one persons story or collective stories. These stories create moments of reflection for storytellers and the listeners.

​Your Story - Your Journey

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you"

Maya Angelou

As humans, we are interpreting beings. We all have daily experiences of events that we seek to make meaningful. The stories we have about our lives are created through linking certain events together in a particular sequence across a time period, and finding a way of explaining or making sense of them. This meaning forms the plot of the story. We give meanings to our experiences constantly as we live our lives. A narrative is like a thread that weaves the events together, forming a story.

We all have many stories about our lives and relationships, occurring simutaneously. For example, we have stories about ourselves, our abilities, our struggles, our conquests, our achievements, our failures. The way we have developed these stories is determined by how we have linked certain events together in a sequence and by the meaning we have attributed to them.

An individual may have a story about themselves as being successful and competent. Alternatively they may have a story about themselves as being 'a failure at trying new things' or 'a coward' or as 'lacking determination'. Families may have stories about themselves as being 'caring' or 'noisy' or 'risky' or 'dysfunctional' or 'close'. A community may have a story about itself as 'isolated' or 'politically active' or 'financially strong'.

All these stories could be occurring at the same time, and events as they occur will be interpreted according to the meaning (plot) that is dominant at that time. In this way, the act of living requires that we are engaged in the mediation between the dominant stories and the alternate stories of our lives. We are always negotiating and interpreting our experiences. The meanings that we give to these events occurring in a sequence across time do not occur in a vacuum. There is always a context in which the stories of our lives are formed. This context contributes to the interpretations and meanings that we give to events.

Narrative Therapy And The Sonder Connection

Sonder Counselling Services has an approach that takes into account the whole person and all the factors that influence how you live your life. My therapeutic style is person-centred with my passion for Narrative therapy. This is not the only therapeutic process of therapy that is used. But, do I feel that it capitalizes upon our storytelling tendencies. It provides us with opportunities for growth, understanding and development. We can also find meaning, knowledge, and a pathway to a better insights into ourselves. It is collaborative, non-pathologizing and a respetful approach to counselling which centres people as the experts of their own lives.

In narrative therapy the therapist considers the possibiities of the conversation as if they are roads on a journey. There are many cross-roads, intersections, paths and tracks to choose from. With every step, a new and different cross road or intersection emerges - forwards, back, right, left, diagonal, in different degrees. With each step that is taken with the client, more possible directions are opened. The more options open, more possible directions can be chosen to travel or what to leave behind. We can always take a different path, retrace our steps, go back, repeat a track, or stay on the same road for some time. At the beginning of the journey we are not sure where it will end, nor what will be discovered. There is no 'right' ways to go - merely many possible directions to choose from.

Narrative therapy is a form of therapy that aims to separate the individual from the problem, allowing the individual to externalize their issues rather than internalize them. It relies on the individuals own skills and sense of purpose to guide them through difficult times. Narrative therapy seeks to be respectful, using a non-blaming approach.

This approach views problems as separate from people and assumes people as having many skills, abilities, values, commitments, beliefs and competancies that assist them to change their relationship with the problems influencing their lives. It is a way of working that considers the broader context of people's lives particularly in the various dimensions of diversity including class, race, gender, sexual orientation and ability.

One of the most therapeutic principles in narrative therapy is that we find meaning and healing through telling stories. Our lives are multilayered. There are many stories occurring at the same time and different stories can be told about the same events. No single story can be free of ambiguity or contradiction and no single story can encapsulate or handle all the continguencies of life. There are many different stories by which we live our lives and relationships - incuding stories about the past, present and future. Stories can also belong to individuals and/or communities. There can be family stories and relationship stories.

The number and combination of stories is endless. What always remains is the impact sharing your story can have on yourself and others. Story telling is a powerful tool for personal and social change.